Emotionally I think I am getting to the best place I have been in weeks. My motivation is slowly increasing again and I am starting to let go of some of the angst of losing a kidney to my cancer treatment.
Intellectually - I see the world differently now. My priorities have changed. My desperation to remain the primary income maker in my home sometimes pushes me to hard and I know it. I just really don't want this disease to determine Johanna's access to college or going back to going without. I just got out of that. I am still having some struggles concentrating and my memory still has wholes.
Physically... regaining strength and stamina. I will just get it back to comfort when I will go down again. For those that don't know, the tube placement was successful but the kidney has not responded. They are planning to remove it on 8/5 unless the kidney kicks in before then. They have to go in through the back and back muscles which will make movement hard. I will be in the hospital for four days and then down for at last two weeks where I won't be allowed to travel.
Spiritually I think is where I am the strongest. I believe through God that we are all connected. This belief gives me comfort and peace.
Creatively - The plotting never stops even though I am not putting it down. I think what I have down is some of the best writing I have done. Katherine says as the book progresss, she is having to use the red pen less and less. She said tonight I am going to outgrow her. I know I am behind my promised release date and trust me.. no one has more anxiety about that than I. I feel like I let my readers down when cancer and its side effects impacted that date. The book is starting beta read this week.
I am really looking forward to the book show. Theresa Snyder and I were accepted to the annual NW Book Fair in Portland on July 25th. Theresa has done so much work on bookmarks, cards and such that I feel like I am putting to much on her. But it should be a great day. Of course, turning around and getting on a plane the next day, not so great. But we do what we must!! I am trying to get as much work as I can before I go down in August. With the book progress and the classes I have done. I may be able to afford to take the whole month off which my doctor would prefer.
Any help you can give in sharing my books or my gofund page (http://www.gofundme.com/cudai8 )would be greatly appreciated by my family and I. The medical bills continue to come in.
